Even it is no the thing start the emotion, but this really makes me to think of myself and where I am going to.
Well...I am lucky, there are not many difficulties in my childhood, I never hv to worry about my everyday life. I would say it is quite free.
So, I am not the kind of person that has a painful past or hv to start everything with nothing.
I know my parents love me. So, I never want to do something will disappoint or potentially disappoint them.
Although they never say they are expecting me for anything, I always try not to do anything may out of their expectation.
They are quite open-minded, but I know that they are still quite traditional.
I always try to be a good boy in their eyes.
So, I always feel guilty every time when I want to do something out of the box.
And sometimes even say no to some opportunities.
My sister has always done very well in academic aspect.
I can feel she really make my parents proud.
So, sometimes I really feel I am living in the shadow of her.
As a result, I always choose something or way different from her.
Because of my childishness, I realize I have lose some great opportunities which can make me a better person I can be.
I can say, it is one of the reasons that I choose not to go overseas to continue my study when I am in high school.
And it is one of my biggest regrets in my history.
Well, it is never her fort, but I am really angry with my childishness in the past.
Yes, I really hate my childishness and immature in the past.
It really make me miss so many things that I can hv and the chances of making me a better person that I want to be.
And all these make me who I am now.
I am not trying to blame anyone for my unhappiness
I just want to mark something for myself.
There are so many regrets in my life, but there so little or even nothing I can be proud of in my life.
So, I decided, I am going to do something for myself.
I am the one who live in my own life.
OK. Be more aggressive, try to hold my destiny in my hands.
We cannot chase for anything has gone past, so grasp everything we hv at the moment.
I hv to go through these all to make me strong.